Willa, 53 weeks
ONE.
Times Two.
WE MADE IT!
I never imagined myself a mom, others did, but not me.
Now I'm a mom of two and I can't imagine my life without them.
(As I write this the girls will be thirteen months tomorrow. They had another swim lesson yesterday and celebrated our friend Sara's bridal shower with us here at our house yesterday.)
Our girls turned one mid-April in the middle of a snow and ice storm. Due to weather there were some that couldn't join us but the house was still full of family and friends. They had at least two clothing changes for their birthday (with costumes). The week before their birthday I struggled. I struggled because they were no longer as little as they once were, and would never be again. I know that we won't have babies that little in our home that are our bio children again, even though that was a decision that we made for our own reasons. I struggled because a friend of ours was in the hospital for long term monitoring for the health of her baby and herself. I struggled because another friend and his wife had just lost their baby. I struggled and there were mornings I would wake up crying. We've been through a lot this year, more than I can put to text. We've had some long nights and longer days. We've been brought to our knees, and yet here we are. The time sure went fast. One times Two. We will remember the nights, the gremlin giggles as they woke up when they were little. Learning that glass bottles in a bottle warmer make milk hot as $*^#. That you end up needing a lot of things for a short period of time when you have two babies (think thrift whenever possible). Swaddling arms in, swaddling arms out. Hold them as long as they will let you and don't let go until they do. Learn that more than ever it takes a village. Learn that the village doesn't just take care of the babies, they take care of you too. They listen, support, help, teach, and learn all at the same time. These little girls have no idea the village that they've created and the blessing that they've given us.
As I write this, it is Mother's Day and I think of all the women that have touched my life as I've grown. These women know who they are (they are our moms, grandmas, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends) they are to numerous to tag and I don't want to forget anyone. They have held me either when I was little or when I was older, they have been my support system and though our conversations are often less frequent these days due to needing more time for babies and taking a little breathing time for me or time to talk to my husband I hope they know the impact they've had on me and who I've become.
There are times I'm saddened, times that I think on those that have left this earth to soon, or before we even thought about having a baby and got two, and the girls won't get to meet them. The girls won't get to run and play with them physically and it breaks my heart. Or maybe they will, if their spirits choose to visit. If the spirits choose to visit I hope the girls are able to tell me, and I will smile and be glad they stopped by. To many leave us to soon.
Our girls are strong, they are feisty, they are two personalities (that trade off at times), and yet one personality. I love them with a fierceness that I never imagined existed. There are times, though rare, we take only one somewhere and it is weird! They babble, they love water (baths or swim lessons), they crawl and pull up, they give the best hugs, and if you are lucky a smile. One explores and the other watches over the exploration. They eat everything under the sun and are just discovering what it's like to try and chew on everything (more teeth?!) continue to amaze us everyday in this adventure we call life! I love you monsters, yes I do. I love you monsters, through and through.
Our girls are strong, they are feisty, they are two personalities (that trade off at times), and yet one personality. I love them with a fierceness that I never imagined existed. There are times, though rare, we take only one somewhere and it is weird! They babble, they love water (baths or swim lessons), they crawl and pull up, they give the best hugs, and if you are lucky a smile. One explores and the other watches over the exploration. They eat everything under the sun and are just discovering what it's like to try and chew on everything (more teeth?!) continue to amaze us everyday in this adventure we call life! I love you monsters, yes I do. I love you monsters, through and through.
